Every Way Out but In

So, I made a mistake. That's the general consensus at work now. I acted upon instructions before double-checking their accuracy. My boss changed her mind and it was too late for me to stop the action from taking place. I will admit that it was I, somehow, that caused this error. Halfway through the action I stopped and wondered if I shouldn't verify, but it was too late to reverse the previous few actions. (Let me sum it up...boss says "Call A, B, C, D, and E." The next morning, I do call A, B, C, and then before I do D, I think...I better make sure she still wants this. She wanted me to take back B and C, but it was too late. (A, somehow, was fine to do. See how confusing this is?) C didn't really affect anything, but B did. And now the only topic of conversation is how I did B and that wasn't what she wanted.)

So now I've put countless hours and effort into a project that, I fear, will only be remembered for my 'faults.' I've done the best I could to keep everything sane. I guess I did the wrong thing. I'm not sure how doing what you're told is wrong, but I should have known if it was something I liked it must've been wrong...or something like that. I have no clue. I'm confused as hell and upset beyond recognition. I should be on a high...this is the week! Just days until the event. But all I can think is, "Which way to get the hell out of here?" I want to crawl under a rock because I'm afraid I've failed in my effort to make this year the best of all previous years. I tried to hard maybe...took too much initiative...was too efficient. Sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut and check 3 times before completing a task?

I don't know...I just know this isn't how I wanted my week to start.

Tips for Surviving Groundhog Day

FYI - I don't have any tips, I'm searching for some....

So it's a curious case of weather outside lately, and between my completely overscheduled life and the never-changing, never-ceasing snowy weather beating against my bedroom window each morning and night, I feel like Bill Murray.

This morning I spent 20 minutes in the shower crying, no...make that sobbing, saying "when will something change? Why must it always be the same day after day after day after day?" I was a total and complete wreck of a human being. While I'm feeling much better now, I still have to reflect that each day is running into the next with little to make a difference. Last Monday? I think it might've snowed. And it was cold...I remember that part. The next day it must've definately snowed. And it was really cold. Wednesday? Snow. Cold. Thursday? Snow. Cold. *sigh* And while the kids are rejoicing because they haven't been to school for at least a week, maybe a week and a half now (see the vagueness...I really don't remember), I'm going through the everyday motions of life.

I'm usually the kind of person who prefers a little change (note, I said a little) from time to time. I love the change of seasons (hell, I used to love snow...CURED!) just as much as I used to love rearranging my bedroom every few months. I like to buy a new shirt for the new season. I like to get my hair cut in seasonal swings. I like to change my bedsheet pattern now and again as well. I just can't help it. Too much of the same thing and I get VERY bored. But, since January? Little to no change. Whatsoever. At All. EVER. I'm starting to think I'm stuck in some Groundhog Day situation, but I don't get to relive the same day over and over, but the same week.

Since January I've been waiting for college (grad school) replies.
Since January I've been working 40 hours a week, attending 15 hours worth of classes, and fitting homework in wherever possible.
Since January I haven't been out with my friends.
Since January (maybe December) I haven't seen my mother. (This is VERY hard for me!)
Since January I've maintained the same weight (although I've made countless start and stop efforts to start a diet but find no motivation to decrease my insulation layer when it's still so damn cold outside!).
Since January I've been needing a haircut.
Since January I've needed a new pair of shoes and a couple new chains for presents I've gotten. (Actually, I got the second one this month, but just added the need for a chain for that one to the list of my needed other chain, so nothing really changed.)
Since January (actually before) I've been dealing with plans for our annual big event at work. (Which puts me in party planner mode, which I can't escape from until February 26th...if I'm lucky!)
Since January I've been waiting. Waiting for graduation. Waiting on those damn letters. Waiting on some change to come!! (And please spare me your dopey John Mayer reference! That song is old too...I need something new!)

I'm begging to whatever powerful being can make it happen (I'm beyond hope that I'll pick the right one and fear, instead, that I will be ranting and raving to the man next to the man in charge who can't do a damn thing about my problem) -- PLEASE! STOP THE SNOW! I need a sunny day! I need a cool breeze, not a slap you in the face winter bluster! I need to know that we will eventually be released from the endless winter we seem to have been plunged headlong into! HELP! S-O-S!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!

*runs around waving her arms in the air and screaming*